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Parker's Profile by L.D. Blakeley

Price:
$3.99
SKU:
978-1-77233-795-2
Brand:


Product Description

Parker Knowles needs a date. No, really. If he can't find one by Valentine's Day, he's agreed to let his sister fix him up. And quite frankly, he'd rather chew off his own arm than go out with someone of his sister's choosing. 

Internet phenom, Lane Steadman, has offered to show Parker the art of the perfect selfie. After all, an outstanding dating profile is useless without a topnotch photo, right? 

Can love really be found on the Internet? Or is a real-world connection closer to Parker than he thinks? 

Be Warned: m/m sex

 

Excerpt:

“What we need to do is get you wet.”

“Pardon?” Parker squawked.

“Yeah. Aside from that video Seth posted, my most popular pics are the ones at the beach or in a pool,” Lane explained.

There’s a shocker, Parker thought.

“I smelled chlorine in the lobby. I’m assuming there’s a pool in your building?” the other man continued.

“Yeah, there is, but…”

“Perfect.” Lane hopped up and slid his phone into his back pocket, giving Parker both the means and opportunity to ogle. And ogle, he did.

Until he realized Lane meant to take pictures of him in a bathing suit, and all ogling ground to a screeching halt. Oh, hell no

“I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea,” was what he actually said.

“What’s not a good idea?” With perfect timing, Seth strolled into the living room and handed them both a beer.

“Me posing in a pool.” Parker searched for a reason that wasn’t I don’t want to pop a boner near Lane that I can’t hide in a bathing suit.

“Maybe being in the pool will relax you,” Lane added. “Because I don’t think the beer is doing the trick.”

Parker knew the gorgeous man was trying to be helpful. Reluctantly, he nodded. “Fine. Can I grab my trunks first?”

“Unless you’d prefer to be naked.” Lane winked and Parker felt his kneecaps liquefy.

He knew Lane hadn’t intended to come across as flirtatious. Unfortunately, his brain was having a tough time comprehending that. Pull yourself together, you drooling idiot. This guy is doing you a favor. The least you can do is behave like a sane, rational adult.

Too bad his id was projecting horny, teenage boy.

Pushing aside his inappropriate and misplaced lust, Parker headed into his bedroom and quickly changed his clothes, swapping out boxer briefs for swim trunks. He could do this.

As he headed back into the living room, he grabbed the security swipe card off the key rack by the door. “Okay, let’s get it over with.”

Lane and Seth followed behind Parker and kept up a constant chatter as the three of them rode the elevator to the lobby. Parker waved a quick hello to a neighbor as they exited and made their way toward the pool. When he heard voices coming from the direction of their final destination, however, he started to have second (and possibly third and fourth) thoughts.

“There’s people in there.” He faltered outside the glass doors that led to the pool. “Maybe this isn’t such a good—”

“Nope.” Seth grabbed the swipe card from Parker. “You’re not bailing on this.”

“M’not bailing. Just … can we do it when there’s nobody around?” He was prepared to start begging when the two older gentlemen who had been swimming laps, climbed out of the pool and started gathering up their belongings.

Seth had already unlocked the door and was holding it open for Parker and Lane to join him on the deck of the now-empty pool. “C’mon, stud. Let’s take some pictures.”

“Oh God.” Parker cringed at Seth’s choice of words. As they made their way around the perimeter of the pool, he looked to Lane, who had his phone out and looked keen to get started. “Should I just…”

“Strip, baby.” Lane’s eyes crinkled in mirth as his mouth curved into a wicked grin.

“I hate you both,” Parker muttered as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. 

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Product Reviews

  1. Love Bytes 4 Star Review

    Posted by on 7th Jul 2016

    Parker is actually pretty happy being alone, but his loved up sister older sister is unfortunately of the opinion that everyone must find love just like she has. She has even set a deadline for Parker to get out there and start dating. If Parker doesn’t start finding his own men by Valentine’s Day, then she will be finding one for him. The solution – set up an online dating profile, but unfortunately, that’s harder for Parker than one would assume. Parker (in his opinion) is one of the least photogenic people on Earth, and his best friend, Seth agrees with him. His profile pictures suck, and no one is interested. Luckily for Parker, Seth’s internet-celebrity cousin, Lane is willing to help them get the perfect picture of Parker.

    This was a great story! Actually it was better than I expected. I’m not the biggest fan of stories of this length, but I think the author nailed the pacing perfectly here. Sometimes with novellas it feels like the author has damaged the story by deciding on a word count before writing and then cramming the story into too few pages. But with this story it feels as though the author simply wrote whatever they wanted and this was the length they ended up with. There was nothing overcrowded or rushed about it.

    The story was told from Parker’s point of view, but all of the characters were interesting, including Seth, and Parker’s sister who is only ever heard through the phone. Oh, and how could I forget skeevy work college, Martin.

    I liked the easy non-dramatic connection that is made between Parker and Lane. There’s really no angst to this book, but I was kept interested by the fun banter between the two men, not to mention Parker’s amusing inner dialogue.

    If you’re looking for something quick, light and, most importantly, fun to read this is worth your time.


  2. Exqusite Reviews 4 Star Review

    Posted by on 7th Jun 2016



    I really loved this story and hope that I can read Lane and Parker again.

    The premise of this book was great and the modern twist gave it a very authentic feel, almost like reading about friends vs. fictional characters.

    I wish the book had been longer because I totally loved these guys and wanted more.

    Parker is shy introverted and not sure how to navigate the ever changing social media world. Lane is a social media star and a hot one at that… reading about him I picture this guy and the drool commences.


    I give this book 4 diamonds and hope to read more from this author.


  3. Kimmer's Erotic Book Blog 4 Star Review

    Posted by on 24th May 2016

    Two hands up for L.D. Blakeley as she manages to create a deliciously refreshing novella with her Parker’s Profile.



    I’m a sucker for humor and L.D. kicks it off right away with Parker and his friend, Seth. Seth is trying to assist Parker with his dating profile, in hopes Parker won’t lose a bet with his sister. You can immediately tell these two have a witty ease born out of familiarity.



    And Parker’s inner dialog? Utterly. Amusing.



    Seth decides to call in Lane, an on-line selfie Phenom, to come take a few profile pics of Parker to….better sell him to the dating pool.



    When Lane arrives he is everything Parker wants in a man. Except he’s straight. Or is he?



    An afternoon of photos turns into an invitation to a day on the tubing slopes for Parker and Lane. For more pics, of course. And a fun “ride” for the reader as full on, deliberate flirtation ensues.



    Where this leads can only be described as breath-stealing! As Blakeley details first touches, first kisses, the inability to hold on to full on desire: those moments that you can’t believe are happening and yet you never want to end.



    But, it can’t be that easy – can it? No, it’s not, and that progression is just what makes this short even better. A little pursuit, a revelation and a sexual goodie. Trust me….you WANT to read this!



    L.D. Blakeley takes a fun little plot and pulls together some magnetic characters to give the reader an engaging story in a very few 76 pages.



    So much so that she actually left me wanting more of Parker and Lane. More of their ease with one another, their boyish charm, their desire, and maybe even Lane’s profile.



    I would have happily given five hearts to this review but for the fact that I got a little lost during a time sequence. Parker is put on a project that “kept him busy for nearly a solid week”. Yet he starts it on Monday and by Wednesday he can’t think about what has transpired with Lane. Trying to figure out if I had misjudged time took me out of the story just a bit.



    An advanced reader copy of Parker’s Profile was provided to Kimmers’ Erotic Book Banter, by L.D. Blakeley, in exchange for our fair and honest opinion.


  4. Deliciously Refreshing Novella 4 Star Review

    Posted by on 23rd May 2016

    Two hands up for L.D. Blakeley as she manages to create a deliciously refreshing novella with her 'Parker’s Profile'.

    I’m a sucker for humor and L.D. kicks it off right away with Parker and his friend, Seth. Seth is trying to assist Parker with his dating profile, in hopes Parker won’t lose a bet with his sister. You can immediately tell these two have a witty ease born out of familiarity.

    And Parker’s inner dialog? Utterly. Amusing.

    Seth decides to call in Lane, an on-line selfie Phenom, to come take a few profile pics of Parker to….better sell him to the dating pool.

    When Lane arrives he is everything Parker wants in a man. Except he’s straight. Or is he?

    An afternoon of photos turns into an invitation to a day on the tubing slopes for Parker and Lane. For more pics, of course. And a fun “ride” for the reader as full on, deliberate flirtation ensues.

    Where this leads can only be described as breath-stealing! As Blakeley details first touches, first kisses, the inability to hold on to full on desire: those moments that you can’t believe are happening and yet you never want to end.

    But, it can’t be that easy – can it? No, it’s not, and that progression is just what makes this short even better. A little pursuit, a revelation and a sexual goodie. Trust me….you WANT to read this!

    L.D. Blakeley takes a fun little plot and pulls together some magnetic characters to give the reader an engaging story in a very few 76 pages. So much so that she actually left me wanting more of Parker and Lane. More of their ease with one another, their boyish charm, their desire, and maybe even Lane’s profile.

    I would have happily given five hearts to this review but for the fact that I got a little lost during a time sequence. Parker is put on a project that “kept him busy for nearly a solid week”. Yet he starts it on Monday and by Wednesday he can’t think about what has transpired with Lane. Trying to figure out if I had misjudged time took me out of the story just a bit.


  5. Great love story 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 23rd Apr 2016

    I read this in one sitting and was smiling throughout. Parker is so easy to relate to and his inner monologue had me laugh out loud on more than one occasion.

    Fabulous, humorous read, which put a big grin on my face. :-)


  6. Sweet and sexy 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 14th Apr 2016

    Such a fun and sexy book! A bit of angst, but all likable characters and I think many of us can relate to Parker's feelings of, "no way would this guy like ME". Sweet and funny, totally enjoyable and I wouldn't mind seeing these guys again sometime!


  7. Witty, fun, and hot 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 12th Apr 2016

    L.D. Blakeley is a new author for me, so I was excited to see what this novella would bring. Let’s just say I’ll be looking for more. This was terrific—very well-written, smart, and fun. A story about an online dating profile could go horribly wrong, from being over-the-top to boring and cliched. This story is neither of those. Instead, it’s warm and funny with a healthy dose of smoking hot.

    I loved seeing the world through Parker’s eyes. There’s nothing I like better than big brains, and Parker’s got them. And like many smart folks, he still can’t see how great he is. Fortunately, he’s got Lane to show him. Once again, they could have been—together or apart—tropes. Parker’s quiet and nerdy; Lane’s outgoing, physically fit, and bisexual. Yet neither of them felt like stock characters.

    Speaking of Lane being bi, while I won’t say that was my favorite part (trust me, this story has a lot more to love than just the one aspect), I did think it was awesome. Some great bi-myth-busting, but not in a way that felt “educational.” Because it’s from Parker’s perspective, I loved the way his own insecurities play into his assumptions about Lane, and yet they’re handled with grace.

    Parker and Lane have some hotter-than-blazes chemistry. This is not your slow-burn, big romantic feels kind of story. This is two guys who know what they want, and that’s each other. There’s clearly more developing between them, though, and it’s fun to imagine their relationship taking off.

    What really did it for me with this book was the sense of humor. This doesn’t take itself to seriously. This is a true erotic rom-com. It’s sexy, playful, and witty. The writing is so skillful and snappy, keeping it from being just another story about two guys getting it on. I loved all the side characters, the running jokes, and Parker’s sweet and funny internal dialog.

    For brilliant writing, sexy laughs, and a whole bag of d’awwwww, this gets 5 stars (and a guaranteed repeat reader).


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