Deathly Desires by Faedra Rose

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SKU 978-0-3695-0774-7
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Loving Monsters, 2

It’s All Hallows’ Eve and Renae Saltzman has had enough. After a lifetime of physical and sexual abuse, she’s ready to be free of the mortal coil—choosing to end her life on her favorite holiday. All she wants is to be free of the pain, her abusers, and her useless mother.

Just as she tastes peace on the tip of her tongue, a skull-faced entity accosts her, dragging her soul from the depths. Awakening on the other side of death, Renae finds herself face to face with none other than the Grim Reaper. Renae just wants to move on, but the reaper has other ideas…

Be Warned: anal sex, monster sex, public exhibition, bondage

 

Excerpt:

They say the veil between the worlds is thin tonight, no more than a gossamer whisper between the seen and unseen. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I’ve decided, fittingly, that this one will be my last. I can’t handle living anymore—it’s just too painful.

Glancing down at my scarred wrists, I pull my long black sleeves down further to hide my shame and heave a sigh. It’s strange how some people lead such wonderful lives, while the rest of us endure such wretched ones. We aren’t living. Not really. Most of us are barely surviving. Hell, we’re hanging on grimly by bloody fingernails, just trying to make ends meet.

I didn’t ask to be born into an abusive, drug-riddled household. I didn’t ask for a childhood of cigarette burns and purple bruises. I didn’t ask to be violated again and again by Mom’s one thousand different junkie boyfriends. I didn’t ask to be the only real adult. I don’t fucking like working two shitty jobs just to pay our rent and keep something other than alcohol and rollie papers in the fucking pantry because my own mother is a useless addict. But here I am.

My mom’s never protected me from the monsters in her life, so they bled easily into mine, like shadows through the cracks of our broken lives. From what I’ve heard, her formative years mirror my own. Ever since I can remember, she’s been lost. Lost in her own wonderland, or nightmare, forever escaping life and its demons, while never leaving it. She’s afraid. I know that much. She has the courage to face the pointy end of a needle, or another filthy fist, but she hasn’t the courage to change it or leave it all behind. She can’t. Or won’t.

I see the resignation in her eyes every single day, and every single day it crushes my soul a little more. She’s resigned herself to a living death—night after night of blurring the edges of her reality—just trying to forget what she feels. All I know is that’s not going to be me. I’m more afraid of not living than dying. Death is the answer to all my problems. It’s my cure. It’s the real escape from it all. There’s no half-assing it. Once I commit, it’ll be done … and hopefully I’ll finally find peace.

There’s no surviving a fall like this. I’ll either be smashed on the submerged rocks, or, if I manage to miss them, the impact of the water alone will be like landing on solid ground, and I’ll break my back. My ribs will likely puncture my lungs, and I’ll drown in a mix of my own blood and the dark waters of the lake. It’s comforting, if I’m being honest. I can’t endure my present situation any longer, and if I were to survive my suicide attempt and be left in a vegetative state? A shudder runs through my bones as the cool night air whispers over me, whipping up my lank, rainbow-dyed hair. I need the guarantee of death, because no one in this damn world is going to look after me, and no one is going to bloody miss me, anyway.

That’s the cruelty of a disadvantaged life. I’m at the bottom of the food chain. No one except junkies want to know me. And even then, they only want to associate for the occasional no-strings-attached fuck, or for the chance to score their next hit at a discounted price. Even if I wanted to better myself, and my life, there’s little to no hope of a brighter future. They say there is, the jerks on high who think they speak for the people, but there isn’t.

I’m an abused nineteen-year-old from the backwaters of Green Pines in Washington State. It’s not even so much a county in its own right as it is a ramshackle trailer park growing on the edge of the forest along the banks of Black Lake. Like a cancer, or a fungus, it just seems to grow, expanding as more trash blows in. There’s a gas station up on the highway, and not much else. I have to catch the bus to work in the next town over because I can’t afford a car, and then I end up walking back, alone—after my shifts—in the dead of night.

It’s fucked. All of it. And I’ve had enough! I’ve had enough of looking after my useless mother, providing for us, and being the touch toy of every stinking creep in the area. I’m done! I’m really fucking done. I’m going to jump, fly for a few seconds, and then that’ll be all she wrote. I’ll be free.

I chug the last of my beer and leave the bottle on the rocks. A sort-of monument to my demise. Standing, I brush off my skirt and rake my fingers through my hair, casting my gaze over the edge of the rocky ledge. The dark waters call to me from below, like sirens at sea, with the promise of eternal peace.

Sucking in a lungful of brisk, fall air, I grimace. “This is it,” I say. “Happy Halloween, Green Pines. It’s been shitty knowing you.” Turning, I get a run up. It just feels like the thing to do. To go out in an epic fashion, rather than simply and anticlimactically stepping off the cliff. Heart racing, I pump my arms, covering the distance from the shadowed tree-line to the edge in seconds—and then I’m committed.

I’m falling, my rainbow hair streaming above me as the dark, moonlit reflective waters of Black Lake draw near. The stars shimmer above, and swirling mist floats along the distant shore. It’s beautiful. All logic screams at me to brace for impact, to prepare for the pain, but I don’t. I just fall, closing my eyes as the frigid water steals the breath from my lungs, and pain radiates through me. I feel the icy embrace of the lake wrapping me up like a lover, and I sink into the darkness. Everything is a blur of pain and cold, but I can almost taste peace. It’s just a breath away.

The air bubbles from my mouth and nostrils as I descend into the depths. It’s so quiet and serene. I watch as they wobble up toward the moonlit surface, and a smile tugs at the corners of my lips. I made the right choice. Just as I close my eyes again to commit to my final sleep, a vise-like grip seizes my wrist, and a shadowed, skeletal form swims into my vision. Hollow, dark sockets stare into my soul, and I scream—the last of my breath escaping in a rush of bubbles as oblivion claims me.

Series:
/series-loving-monsters/

Product Reviews

Score: 4 out of 5 (based on 15 ratings)
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4/5
This was a super quick, spicy read that had me hooked from the very beginning
Written by Sydnie B on 27th Mar 2023

This was a super quick, spicy read that had me hooked from the very beginning. It was a unique story with dark elements and a lot of super spicy scenes between a mysterious grim reaper figure and a human woman. All in al, a good story--one I would recommend to dark romance lovers and monster romance lovers alike.

3/5
Dark, mysterious, sexy, and intriguing!
Written by KReads Books on 27th Mar 2023

Dark, mysterious, sexy, and intriguing! New genre and author for me but was pleasantly surprised! Would recommend for readers who are in need of something new and unlike other romances on the market! Paranormal and absolutely filled with sexy goodness

4/5
Deathly Desires
Written by Sonja E on 27th Mar 2023

This was a lot shorter than I expected, but I quite enjoyed it. Yeah, everything happens too fast, and yeah, it's all pretty much unbelievable, but it all worked for me anyway. What surprised me the most was that the FMC was only 19. Considering everything the story is about, she seemed really young. On the other hand, considering everything she has suffered thru her whole life, it also makes sense what she does. Renae has been abused in pretty much every way possible her whole life. She's tired of everything people do to her, and tired of working so hard for nothing. So she decides to kill herself on her favorite holiday. Halloween. She does indeed succeed but her afterlife is nothing like she expected. The Grimm Reaper (Azrael) ends up being this super hot, shadowy figure, with a skull like face, that is solid but also not. Did I mention he was super hot? Renae has no problem giving in to his sexual desires or her own with him. She has never felt like she has belonged somewhere as much as she feels she belongs with him, so when given the chance to choose her future she doesn't hesitate. Now, from here things get a little more unbelievable with what Azrael does to Renae and then with what he allows her to do. But what really blew it was the "I love yous" after these two literally have only had sex and killed people together. Still, I liked it and would probably check out other stories by this author.

4/5
Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT!
Written by Michelle C on 27th Mar 2023

Ummmm what did I just read!?! Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT! A Halloween tragedy that actually turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to Renae. This one is super short and super filthy but also kinda sweet in a very dark and messed up way.

4/5
Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT!
Written by Michelle C on 27th Mar 2023

Ummmm what did I just read!?! Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT! A Halloween tragedy that actually turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to Renae. This one is super short and super filthy but also kinda sweet in a very dark and messed up way.

4/5
Very dark and very steamy!
Written by Olivia L on 27th Mar 2023

Wow! Very dark and very steamy! It was a quick read and it gets to the point quickly. I loved it. I will definitely be reading more of her books

4/5
It’s exactly what I thought it would be and more
Written by Ariana M on 27th Mar 2023

It’s exactly what I thought it would be and more. I can see so much potential for this book. Make sure you check the trigger warnings. As it does have some darker themes. The idea and major plot outline is amazing. I enjoyed the spin on the Grim Reaper and the main character. You don’t get much build up before you the peak and wrap up of the story. It’s starts just as the description says with the main character giving up on the terrible hand she has been dealt and ending her life. She is swept away by the Grim Reaper. And she thinks this may finally be her chance to find a slice of happiness. While I wish that we got more character development and a more detailed plot line I will say that I really did enjoy this book. It’s dirty and a little weird. And right up my alley.

5/5
So good
Written by tapnchica on 27th Mar 2023

I will always love paranormal romances, they just have so many different types, and themes, and never get boring. Rose delivers a great one!

5/5
Sex, Chocolate, and Death
Written by kymagirl on 27th Mar 2023

After enduring physical and sexual abuse throughout her young life, Renae (h19) no longer wants to live and takes her own life. She comes face-to-face with non-other than the Grim Reaper/Azrael (H) who has some needs waiting to be fulfilled before Renae can move on. But Renae isn’t interested in moving on and has a proposition of her own for Grim. Hot and steamy with plenty of special chocolate flavored essence. “Who needs eternal peace when you can have sex and chocolate?”

5/5
This Loving Monsters are short but…
Written by Mary S on 27th Mar 2023

Love this so much! This Loving Monsters series are short but oh man they carry the feelings, the hottest moments and all that you can love in a book.

5/5
Brings sin to a new level!
Written by Leeannwriter on 27th Mar 2023

I've read each of Faedra Rose's books and loved them. Her writing combines a delightful imagery and well created characters with wild, raunchy, wicked sex that would curl the hair of any angel – even the Angel of Death! The latest Deathly Desires is no different – it has all the quality writing readers have come to expect combined with down and dirty sex. You might say Mr. Grim brings sin to a whole new level. It's a great read with so much heat you may just swoon while you’re enjoying this one.

5/5
DEATHLY DESIRES
Written by JJ on 27th Mar 2023

I'm not a big paranormal romance fan but after reading that blurb I had to read it. I never thought of how the Grim Reaper would REALLY like to spend Halloween or how hot pushing the boundaries would truly be. I can guarantee after reading this quick and kinky read that you will never think of chocolate the same again???? Guilty pleasure ? I received an ARC for an honest and voluntarily review.

5/5
Great story
Written by PHOENIX96 on 27th Mar 2023

Renae had given up on the life that was so cruel to her, but when she's just about to pass over the Angel of death has other plans. And Renae is about to discover a new world of delights and revenge. Well written steamy paranormal fast paced romance.

5/5
Sinfully delicious
Written by Laura on 23rd Mar 2023

My favorite so far! Amazingly descriptive, both filthy yet sweet. Yes, that's possible! Faedra delivers such vivid imagery and a compelling plot in a compact story. Always look forward to what her imagination will deliver next.

5/5
Brings sin to a new level!
Written by Octoberborn on 9th Mar 2023

I've read each of Faedra Rose's books and loved them. Her writing combines a delightful imagery and well created characters with wild, raunchy, wicked sex that would curl the hair of any angel – even the Angel of Death! The latest Deathly Desires is no different – it has all the quality writing readers have come to expect combined with down and dirty sex. You might say Mr. Grim brings sin to a whole new level. It's a great read with so much heat you may just swoon while you’re enjoying this one.