Deathly Desires by Faedra Rose

Heat Level 4
SKU 978-0-3695-0774-7

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Loving Monsters, 2

It’s All Hallows’ Eve and Renae Saltzman has had enough. After a lifetime of physical and sexual abuse, she’s ready to be free of the mortal coil—choosing to end her life on her favorite holiday. All she wants is to be free of the pain, her abusers, and her useless mother.

Just as she tastes peace on the tip of her tongue, a skull-faced entity accosts her, dragging her soul from the depths. Awakening on the other side of death, Renae finds herself face to face with none other than the Grim Reaper. Renae just wants to move on, but the reaper has other ideas…

Be Warned: anal sex, monster sex, public exhibition, bondage



They say the veil between the worlds is thin tonight, no more than a gossamer whisper between the seen and unseen. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I’ve decided, fittingly, that this one will be my last. I can’t handle living anymore—it’s just too painful.

Glancing down at my scarred wrists, I pull my long black sleeves down further to hide my shame and heave a sigh. It’s strange how some people lead such wonderful lives, while the rest of us endure such wretched ones. We aren’t living. Not really. Most of us are barely surviving. Hell, we’re hanging on grimly by bloody fingernails, just trying to make ends meet.

I didn’t ask to be born into an abusive, drug-riddled household. I didn’t ask for a childhood of cigarette burns and purple bruises. I didn’t ask to be violated again and again by Mom’s one thousand different junkie boyfriends. I didn’t ask to be the only real adult. I don’t fucking like working two shitty jobs just to pay our rent and keep something other than alcohol and rollie papers in the fucking pantry because my own mother is a useless addict. But here I am.

My mom’s never protected me from the monsters in her life, so they bled easily into mine, like shadows through the cracks of our broken lives. From what I’ve heard, her formative years mirror my own. Ever since I can remember, she’s been lost. Lost in her own wonderland, or nightmare, forever escaping life and its demons, while never leaving it. She’s afraid. I know that much. She has the courage to face the pointy end of a needle, or another filthy fist, but she hasn’t the courage to change it or leave it all behind. She can’t. Or won’t.

I see the resignation in her eyes every single day, and every single day it crushes my soul a little more. She’s resigned herself to a living death—night after night of blurring the edges of her reality—just trying to forget what she feels. All I know is that’s not going to be me. I’m more afraid of not living than dying. Death is the answer to all my problems. It’s my cure. It’s the real escape from it all. There’s no half-assing it. Once I commit, it’ll be done … and hopefully I’ll finally find peace.

There’s no surviving a fall like this. I’ll either be smashed on the submerged rocks, or, if I manage to miss them, the impact of the water alone will be like landing on solid ground, and I’ll break my back. My ribs will likely puncture my lungs, and I’ll drown in a mix of my own blood and the dark waters of the lake. It’s comforting, if I’m being honest. I can’t endure my present situation any longer, and if I were to survive my suicide attempt and be left in a vegetative state? A shudder runs through my bones as the cool night air whispers over me, whipping up my lank, rainbow-dyed hair. I need the guarantee of death, because no one in this damn world is going to look after me, and no one is going to bloody miss me, anyway.

That’s the cruelty of a disadvantaged life. I’m at the bottom of the food chain. No one except junkies want to know me. And even then, they only want to associate for the occasional no-strings-attached fuck, or for the chance to score their next hit at a discounted price. Even if I wanted to better myself, and my life, there’s little to no hope of a brighter future. They say there is, the jerks on high who think they speak for the people, but there isn’t.

I’m an abused nineteen-year-old from the backwaters of Green Pines in Washington State. It’s not even so much a county in its own right as it is a ramshackle trailer park growing on the edge of the forest along the banks of Black Lake. Like a cancer, or a fungus, it just seems to grow, expanding as more trash blows in. There’s a gas station up on the highway, and not much else. I have to catch the bus to work in the next town over because I can’t afford a car, and then I end up walking back, alone—after my shifts—in the dead of night.

It’s fucked. All of it. And I’ve had enough! I’ve had enough of looking after my useless mother, providing for us, and being the touch toy of every stinking creep in the area. I’m done! I’m really fucking done. I’m going to jump, fly for a few seconds, and then that’ll be all she wrote. I’ll be free.

I chug the last of my beer and leave the bottle on the rocks. A sort-of monument to my demise. Standing, I brush off my skirt and rake my fingers through my hair, casting my gaze over the edge of the rocky ledge. The dark waters call to me from below, like sirens at sea, with the promise of eternal peace.

Sucking in a lungful of brisk, fall air, I grimace. “This is it,” I say. “Happy Halloween, Green Pines. It’s been shitty knowing you.” Turning, I get a run up. It just feels like the thing to do. To go out in an epic fashion, rather than simply and anticlimactically stepping off the cliff. Heart racing, I pump my arms, covering the distance from the shadowed tree-line to the edge in seconds—and then I’m committed.

I’m falling, my rainbow hair streaming above me as the dark, moonlit reflective waters of Black Lake draw near. The stars shimmer above, and swirling mist floats along the distant shore. It’s beautiful. All logic screams at me to brace for impact, to prepare for the pain, but I don’t. I just fall, closing my eyes as the frigid water steals the breath from my lungs, and pain radiates through me. I feel the icy embrace of the lake wrapping me up like a lover, and I sink into the darkness. Everything is a blur of pain and cold, but I can almost taste peace. It’s just a breath away.

The air bubbles from my mouth and nostrils as I descend into the depths. It’s so quiet and serene. I watch as they wobble up toward the moonlit surface, and a smile tugs at the corners of my lips. I made the right choice. Just as I close my eyes again to commit to my final sleep, a vise-like grip seizes my wrist, and a shadowed, skeletal form swims into my vision. Hollow, dark sockets stare into my soul, and I scream—the last of my breath escaping in a rush of bubbles as oblivion claims me.



Product Reviews

Score: 5 out of 5 (based on 32 ratings)
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Dark, gritty, sexual
Written by Charlene M on 17th Aug 2023

Within the expectations of the genre and this type of book: this was such a fun read. Dark, gritty, sexual, just as advertised. That being said, the darkness can be a lot for some, so if you are not a fan of that, or cannot leave reality at the "door" then perhaps stay away from this book.

Written by Baylee on 17th Aug 2023

thank you to netgalley for the advanced reading copy of deathly desires. this was spicy! for a romance book with lots of spice this is what you need to check out!

Super steamy reaper story
Written by Ash J on 17th Aug 2023

I enjoyed this short, super steamy book about a girl who took her own life and meets the grim reaper after she dies. Things get hot and steamy between them until she grows feelings and does not want to leave him. I gave this book four stars because some details about the crossing over part of the story were wrong like her being able to go to heaven when she took her own life. Overall this was a pretty good and entertaining read though.

Deathly, dirty and hot.
Written by Flavia K on 25th Apr 2023

Deathly, dirty and hot. This is how this Halloween tale is between a woman who lived through hell on earth, and the Angel of Death. This author never ceases to amaze me. Short, hot and dark a dark romance that is a must read!

Written by tburbr on 25th Apr 2023

While I found this book to be well written, I had a hard time connecting to the characters. This book made me think and that is always a good thing.

Written by Amd2662 on 16th Apr 2023

Human/Grim Reaper. Pain. Abused. Raped. Devastated. Suicide. Sexually explicit. Vengeance. Drug Addicted Mother. Ascension. Wonderful characters and disturbing story. Love. HEA? Page Turner.

Deathly Desires!
Written by Mary on 16th Apr 2023

Well I have to say this "Loving Monster" series is VERY interesting and out there. This is the second story in the "Loving Monsters" series and can be read as a stand alone story. This story is interesting and oddly creative story where the weird comes out for All Hallows' Eve. It is a very short and quick read, that is extremely smutty and steamy. I will say I like the end of this one a touch better than the very strange first story in the series. Renae has been put through a lot so maybe her situation is an improvement.

Dark and Steamy
Written by Danee on 16th Apr 2023

This is the second book in the Loving Monsters series. I thought this was a raw and emotional story with triggers. I don't know what to expect from Renae and her bond with the Grim Reaper. It is a spicy and a dark story and it had something on the one hand. It's a short story and I'm curious what the author will come up with next.

disturbing and steamy
Written by Slvrdlphn on 16th Apr 2023

I had mixed feelings about this book because it was overwhelming just how much Renae has gone through at such a young age and how death felt like the only option for her. It is sad that she had to die to find happiness but it is a paranormal romance and anything is possible. It is a very triggering story, albeit a short one, so I would not recommend it to anyone who might be disturbed by it but as a story arc, I think it works.

Hello Mr. Grim
Written by Brooke T on 16th Apr 2023

Deathly Desires was a fun quick monster romance read. The story was well-written and had complex characters and the detail she went into in creating this book was captivating. This book is a little dark, so if you have any triggers, please read cautiously. The spice in this book was thru the roof. I really enjoyed reading this story. I was turning the pages to see what would happen next. I was a little sad it was over. I loved both main characters in this book. Renae was just trying to find peace. My heart just Hurt for her. She experienced things that affected her. Mr. Grim as Renae calls him is tall, translucent, and very powerful. Gotta love the strong silent type. Together they were kismet. They were made for each other and fit together perfectly. If you like authors like A.M. Proctor you will love Faedra Rose!!!

The End, On Halloween
Written by JennT on 16th Apr 2023

Renae is done with life, so on Halloween, she decides to end it all. And then, who does she encounter, it’s the Grim Reaper. Rather than going straight to her destination, these two end up *ahem* interacting, in a taboo and extremely exciting manner. Woo-wee, that Grim Reaper action is hot! And, as Renae says, you can’t die twice, so why not! Deliciously depraved and filthy, I loved every bit of this story!

Deathly Desires, great story
Written by Babs on 16th Apr 2023

The second book in the Loving Monsters series, another short steamy story that packs alot into it. Renae has decided that on her favorite night of All Hallows’ Eve she will finally find peace then she meets the Grim Reaper. The story held my interest from the beginning. I received a copy of this book via Evernight and am voluntarily leaving a review.

The writer did a fantastic job 10 out of 10 would recommend
Written by Courtney B on 7th Apr 2023

This book was the one that really got me I was hooked from the very beginning it had deep meaning in it ,the relationship between the two main characters was a bond that no one could have thought would happen and no one can break. it is a sexy erotic book that you do not want to put it down and believe me when I tell you it will make you hot ?The writer did a fantastic job 10 out of 10 would recommend

Sexy twisted tale
Written by A Schofield on 7th Apr 2023

This is a sexy twisted tale of death, life, sex, love and revenge. This is a good quick thrilling sexy read.

Monster fun
Written by Polli.P on 7th Apr 2023

Ok so this is new read for me. Guess you have to try everything once in a lifetime! In a nutshell I'd say this book was different, daring, slightly deranged and beyond dark! Now this might be your kind of thing, which is absolutely fine, but I didn't realise it was going to be as weird as it was until Renae woke up dead, and even then I thought she was dreaming! Anyway apart from the total weird it's ok if you like monster sex type books, I can tell you it is a well written, very quirky, very sexy short story that will entertain you for a few hours. The triggers are suicide, death, childhood abuse both sexual and physical (though not in graphic detail). Gave it 4 stars for having so much chocolate in it lol!

Deathly Desires
Written by Kirsten P on 7th Apr 2023

Okay so I honestly wasn’t quite sure what I signed up for when I received this ARC. Turns out this is a quick and spicy read about 19 year old, Renea and her escapades with the Grim Reaper after she commits suicide. I am torn on whether I actually enjoyed this or not. It almost feels wrong to have when the plot is essentially just glorifying suicide. But then on the other hand you have some decent spicy scenes with a ripped Angel of Death with chocolate flavored cum. ??‍♀️ Idk. I just don’t know. Trigger Warnings: Suicide Child abuse Rape (past) Unaliving Pedophilia

Quick Thrill
Written by Sandra E. on 7th Apr 2023

I really enjoyed this short story. This is the first thing I’ve read by this author. I am impressed by how quickly she can throw you into a scene and get you involved with the characters. This is definitely some hot stuff and it is great that she can put the supernatural in there and make it seem real. The grim reaper finds his soulmate. It was fun and I’m definitely going to seek out more work from this author. You should too!

This was a super quick, spicy read that had me hooked from the very beginning
Written by Sydnie B on 27th Mar 2023

This was a super quick, spicy read that had me hooked from the very beginning. It was a unique story with dark elements and a lot of super spicy scenes between a mysterious grim reaper figure and a human woman. All in al, a good story--one I would recommend to dark romance lovers and monster romance lovers alike.

Dark, mysterious, sexy, and intriguing!
Written by KReads Books on 27th Mar 2023

Dark, mysterious, sexy, and intriguing! New genre and author for me but was pleasantly surprised! Would recommend for readers who are in need of something new and unlike other romances on the market! Paranormal and absolutely filled with sexy goodness

Deathly Desires
Written by Sonja E on 27th Mar 2023

This was a lot shorter than I expected, but I quite enjoyed it. Yeah, everything happens too fast, and yeah, it's all pretty much unbelievable, but it all worked for me anyway. What surprised me the most was that the FMC was only 19. Considering everything the story is about, she seemed really young. On the other hand, considering everything she has suffered thru her whole life, it also makes sense what she does. Renae has been abused in pretty much every way possible her whole life. She's tired of everything people do to her, and tired of working so hard for nothing. So she decides to kill herself on her favorite holiday. Halloween. She does indeed succeed but her afterlife is nothing like she expected. The Grimm Reaper (Azrael) ends up being this super hot, shadowy figure, with a skull like face, that is solid but also not. Did I mention he was super hot? Renae has no problem giving in to his sexual desires or her own with him. She has never felt like she has belonged somewhere as much as she feels she belongs with him, so when given the chance to choose her future she doesn't hesitate. Now, from here things get a little more unbelievable with what Azrael does to Renae and then with what he allows her to do. But what really blew it was the "I love yous" after these two literally have only had sex and killed people together. Still, I liked it and would probably check out other stories by this author.

Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT!
Written by Michelle C on 27th Mar 2023

Ummmm what did I just read!?! Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT! A Halloween tragedy that actually turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to Renae. This one is super short and super filthy but also kinda sweet in a very dark and messed up way.

Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT!
Written by Michelle C on 27th Mar 2023

Ummmm what did I just read!?! Who knew the Grim Reaper was so HOT! A Halloween tragedy that actually turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to Renae. This one is super short and super filthy but also kinda sweet in a very dark and messed up way.

Very dark and very steamy!
Written by Olivia L on 27th Mar 2023

Wow! Very dark and very steamy! It was a quick read and it gets to the point quickly. I loved it. I will definitely be reading more of her books

It’s exactly what I thought it would be and more
Written by Ariana M on 27th Mar 2023

It’s exactly what I thought it would be and more. I can see so much potential for this book. Make sure you check the trigger warnings. As it does have some darker themes. The idea and major plot outline is amazing. I enjoyed the spin on the Grim Reaper and the main character. You don’t get much build up before you the peak and wrap up of the story. It’s starts just as the description says with the main character giving up on the terrible hand she has been dealt and ending her life. She is swept away by the Grim Reaper. And she thinks this may finally be her chance to find a slice of happiness. While I wish that we got more character development and a more detailed plot line I will say that I really did enjoy this book. It’s dirty and a little weird. And right up my alley.

So good
Written by tapnchica on 27th Mar 2023

I will always love paranormal romances, they just have so many different types, and themes, and never get boring. Rose delivers a great one!

Sex, Chocolate, and Death
Written by kymagirl on 27th Mar 2023

After enduring physical and sexual abuse throughout her young life, Renae (h19) no longer wants to live and takes her own life. She comes face-to-face with non-other than the Grim Reaper/Azrael (H) who has some needs waiting to be fulfilled before Renae can move on. But Renae isn’t interested in moving on and has a proposition of her own for Grim. Hot and steamy with plenty of special chocolate flavored essence. “Who needs eternal peace when you can have sex and chocolate?”

This Loving Monsters are short but…
Written by Mary S on 27th Mar 2023

Love this so much! This Loving Monsters series are short but oh man they carry the feelings, the hottest moments and all that you can love in a book.

Brings sin to a new level!
Written by Leeannwriter on 27th Mar 2023

I've read each of Faedra Rose's books and loved them. Her writing combines a delightful imagery and well created characters with wild, raunchy, wicked sex that would curl the hair of any angel – even the Angel of Death! The latest Deathly Desires is no different – it has all the quality writing readers have come to expect combined with down and dirty sex. You might say Mr. Grim brings sin to a whole new level. It's a great read with so much heat you may just swoon while you’re enjoying this one.

Written by JJ on 27th Mar 2023

I'm not a big paranormal romance fan but after reading that blurb I had to read it. I never thought of how the Grim Reaper would REALLY like to spend Halloween or how hot pushing the boundaries would truly be. I can guarantee after reading this quick and kinky read that you will never think of chocolate the same again???? Guilty pleasure ? I received an ARC for an honest and voluntarily review.

Great story
Written by PHOENIX96 on 27th Mar 2023

Renae had given up on the life that was so cruel to her, but when she's just about to pass over the Angel of death has other plans. And Renae is about to discover a new world of delights and revenge. Well written steamy paranormal fast paced romance.

Sinfully delicious
Written by Laura on 23rd Mar 2023

My favorite so far! Amazingly descriptive, both filthy yet sweet. Yes, that's possible! Faedra delivers such vivid imagery and a compelling plot in a compact story. Always look forward to what her imagination will deliver next.

Brings sin to a new level!
Written by Octoberborn on 9th Mar 2023

I've read each of Faedra Rose's books and loved them. Her writing combines a delightful imagery and well created characters with wild, raunchy, wicked sex that would curl the hair of any angel – even the Angel of Death! The latest Deathly Desires is no different – it has all the quality writing readers have come to expect combined with down and dirty sex. You might say Mr. Grim brings sin to a whole new level. It's a great read with so much heat you may just swoon while you’re enjoying this one.